Don't lose your relationship just because you are retiring

Relationships in our 50s, 60s and beyond - How yours can survive and thrive

The retirement of one or both partners often puts strain on a long term relationship. For many people, it’s the first time in their relationship that they are together, 24/7 for an extended period, without any kids or jobs to occupy them.

For some, this is a great experience. For many, it creates some unexpected difficulties.

Instead of the relaxed, stress free holiday that you were led to expect, you may find that being together with your partner 24/7, can cause tension and frustration. While it’s not widely reported, the reality is that retirement can be tough on relationships and we are currently seeing the divorce rate increasing significantly in the 45 – 64 age group.

If you are finding that you and your partner are experiencing some difficulties, or you think that the retirement of your partner is going to cause some stress, you’re not alone. Many people struggle at this time of life and until now, there hasn’t been much help available to assist. In fact, most of the available retirement literature is sales oriented and features couples having a great time as they travel and do interesting things together.

Sandra's prose is like a gentle loving hand that guides us through the sometimes dark and frightening nooks and crannies of our later years.

One could not ask for a kinder, wiser or more reassuring guide through the landscape of our relationships in later life.

William Hathaway Associate Director Science and Medicine Office of Public Affairs and Communications, Yale University

He thought that life in retirement would be easy, with no stresses and strains. He soon found that on the days he wasn’t playing golf, he didn’t have much else to do and life was getting boring.

Here's a very typical story

John retired at the age of 63 and talked his wife into giving up her part time job so they could spend more time together. John had seen a financial planner and thought that he had organised their retirement. Unfortunately he and his wife, Marie had not spent much time talking about the life they were going to leave in retirement. For the first 6 months, everything was great. He played golf 2 – 3 times a week and they spent a month on a cruise ship.

John did not have many interests outside of work and golf and had not thought too much about what he was going to do with all his spare time. He thought that life in retirement would be easy, with no stresses and strains. He soon found that on the days he wasn’t playing golf, he didn’t have much else to do and life was getting boring. Day time television and a few glasses of wine during the afternoon didn’t help.

His wife Marie, had a busy social life and was one of a group of women who played bridge every week and saw each other on a regular basis. She was used to being out of the house and involved in various community activities.

John didn’t like being left at home and didn’t like having to prepare his own meals. He wanted Marie to spend more time at home with him. Marie wasn’t too keen on giving up her social life and independence...

Sandra's perceptive wisdom illuminates each page. With lucid simplicity, she points the way to the unobstructed heart.

Radha Nicolson, psychologist Clinical Director, The Bay Retreat and Internationally renowned teacher of Insight Meditation
Relationships in our 50's, 60's and Beyond: How yours can survive and thrive

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Don't lose your relationship just because you are retiring. 

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